A Girl Named Grace by Janna Lafrance

Author:Janna Lafrance
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2012-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

The next couple of days seemed to go quickly as Grace pondered her conversations with God. She thought several times of trying to contact Marie but had felt she needed to wait. She wasn’t sure for what. Although at the same time, she wasn’t exactly sure what she should say.

Strangely, although thinking about the idea that Marie might be carrying Jonny’s baby was a sickening thought, she was surprised at how the Forgiveness was working. When the waves of anger or resentment would hit her, she would repeat her mantra again and again: “I forgive her. I forgive him. I forgive them.” In the moments that it was particularly difficult to overcome the wave, she would close her eyes and remember the feel of His scars under her fingers. “Let Me pay for this,” He had said. Yes, she would.

On the weekend, she decided she would reenter the office. She cleaned up the broken pieces of computer and hardware by just throwing it all into a large box, and she vacuumed up the remainder. She leaned against the desk and looked at a picture of her and Jonny up at the lake. She hugged herself tightly as she let the pain of loss flow freely down her face.

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and looked closely at his face. He looked like he was happy in that moment. With the water behind them and the sun setting in the west, she remembered they had felt like they had the world at their fingertips. That must have been before the affair. Maybe it was before they had both started to lose hope.

She slid down to the floor and rested her forehead on her knees. “Will this pain ever stop?”

“Yes.”

It was the Voice. It circled her almost instantly and seemed to linger in front of her. Grace felt almost afraid to look up, so she kept her head bowed and her eyes closed.

“Don’t be afraid, child.”

It was a man’s voice this time. He sounded old but not weak. Strong and gentle. Like she would have pictured Aslan’s voice from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The image of the lion comforted her for some reason.

“I am with you, Grace. I am always with you.”

She answered quietly, not quite sure what was the appropriate way to address Him. “Will this pain go away?” She had heard Him the first time but somehow needed to hear it again. Maybe even a hundred times.

“Yes. In time. You must let it come out of your heart, Grace. Don’t let it fester. And especially not that anger, child. That anger will rot you from the inside out.”

“I don’t even know who I’m angry with.” She thought about this for a while. “I think I’m just angry. I feel like an injured animal, growling and snapping at anyone who comes too close.”

“A very good illustration, daughter. You have been that injured creature for many years.”

“What do I need to do next? What do I do to just let it go?”

“Give it to Me.

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